My name is Crystal, and I do not want your man.

"Hi there, my name is Crystal and I'll be blogging for you today."

Waiting tables is a tough job. A lot of people who have never worked in the restaurant industry, let alone actually waited tables have absolutely no idea how unforgiving this career is. Sure, I could always find a new job if I was so upset with the way people treated their servers, but I like the convenience of the hours waiting tables. There are a plethora of different hats I wear on a daily basis. I have to play psychologist, counselor, caregiver, butler, food deliverer, custodian, and your resident doormat. It is a thankless job especially when you walk away virtually empty handed after paying the MANDATORY tip out.

One of the things I despise most about waiting tables is when a self conscious woman and her boyfriend/husband/whatever come in together. This particular woman can even on most occasions be pretty decent looking, there are very few times that the woman is actually dog ugly. It happens too many times to count, though. I walk up to the table and the woman immediately starts giving me the stink eye. You know what I'm talking about if you have actually seen Juno. Yes, it's like I've stolen your prom date and got knocked up by him kind of stink eye. As soon as this woman sees a fellow WOMAN waitress walking towards their table she gets a nasty taste in her mouth. Well, get over it. And here's why:

Let's start with the obvious reason why I am not interested in your boyfriend. I am married. About two years ago I said my vows to the man I am madly in love with. In the end, he will ALWAYS be better than YOUR boyfriend/husband/whatever.
Second, This is my job. I generally don't wait tables and fall in love with the 8,000th man I've seen coming in with his girlfriend. Unless he says, "Chips and salsa, please," just right. There is something about all of those words combined coming out of a mans mouth that just makes me swoon. Or, if he orders a DIET coke, preferably with lime, I find myself ready to run away with him.
Let's really get down to business here though about why I REALLY don't want your man. Generally it's because -gasp!- he is ENTIRELY not my type. Go figure. A woman actually finds herself completely un-attracted to a man. Yes, even if it IS your man.
I don't know, something about him not knowing what a REAL medium-rare steak looks like just rubbed me the wrong way. Or perhaps I really am NOT into a guy that likes a blackberry iced tea. No, that's not it at all. I just don't want YOUR man.
Ladies, listen- I am working to support my family as is most every waitress working today. Sure, there are probably a majority of women that wait tables that are single, but trust me. They all have lives outside of work. They all go back into the kitchen and complain about their boyfriends and completely forget that your boyfriend is sitting out there in the dining area. We don't CARE! If your boyfriend is especially attractive, a single waitress might go into the back and say, "Man, the guy at 34 is so good looking." Trust me when I say that she isn't going to go to extremes to pick him up especially when you're sitting right there across from him.
If a waitress brings your boyfriend another diet coke, IT'S BECAUSE HIS WAS EMPTY! We don't think that bringing him a refill is a start to a fabulous date. So in short, get over it. You're beautiful and your boyfriend is taking YOU out to dinner, not us. Even if he asked, we wouldn't be interested anyway. :)